You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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