everyone is single if you try hard enough
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
