Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
