i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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