You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
