Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
