So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
