So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
