It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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