it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
