And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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