More tranny stories later!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
