he thought i was a dude.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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