remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
