he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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