he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think i have two assholes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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