She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got inside last night via doggy door
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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