just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
