whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
