you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
