Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wat bout pragnant strippers??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
