omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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