the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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