I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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