We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
