Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
