i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
