Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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