If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need water and some morals
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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