I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
