Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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