so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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