Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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