ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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