She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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