i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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