coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I love you. Go after that dick
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
