Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
