On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
