He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize