You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
