are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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