So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
