i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
