dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
