super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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