She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this just has baby written all over it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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