Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
