his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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