I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
