I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
