my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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