Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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