listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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