WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
