wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
dude. I can hear the air.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
