he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
