doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
