just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
