My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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