HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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