hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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