So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
